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Once upon a time…time

July 15, 2013

tiwa

Mavin’s first lady a.k.a Sho’s former boo released her debut album which you can get in a traffic jam near you, here’s what we think

Intro 

T: Straight up one of the most boring intros to an album, I get it tho, a bed time story is supposed to put you to sleep…

S: *irons silk pjays*

T: zzzzz

S: This is cute…then…cheesy..then…why this girl keep saying ‘American man’…then…yeah…I started hating

T: Nobody read me a bed time story ever, so it even added more to why I hate the intro

S: I got read a bedtime story…..by Slick Rick..does that count?

Wanted

T: Now this should have started the album. Dope song/ dope production

S: This is hella nice!

T: The Damien Marley sample was dope. This sounds Rihanna-ish

S: Perfectly constructed song. Lovely lyrics. Solid production and hypnotic melody

T: Gooooooo! *Oak adlib*

S: Clearly this tells you this is Tiwa’s comfort zone cos she shine’s like Jordan in the 4th on this

Ileke

T: Dope song, apart from the Orororo, Ayayaya…Tiwa be shouting out some of the females in the entertainment industry

S: The Ororo is so she can relate to Iya Basira and Aunty Shalewa

T: Toolz….jubadi, Rita Dominic….jubadi….Weird Mc…jubadi #nohomo #pause

collage

S: It’s Tiwa’s ‘Iyanya ‘ur waist’ slash Iceprice ‘aboki’ jam aka *Wizkid voice* Shalla’ jam.

T: Shalla ma hommies!

S: I thought it was lame at first..(How you follow up a perfectly written song with an empty jam)…but those loya milk tracks made me love this

Middle Passage

T: At one point I thought it was Erykah Badu for a minute. Tiwa shines on this one

S: Like when I hear this…I wanna get vexed…but I gats chill. See how amazing she sounds…like you know this is what wants to sing

T: She’s so comfortable but Nigerians have forced her to do komole

S: But we understand…songs like this won’t get her Pepsi money

T: What the people want, the people get

Olorun Mi

T: I think this is the best I’ve heard her vocally. The whole song makes a grown man emo

S: I think I am peeing through my eyes…(Gangsters don’t cry)

T: #Thughug

S: She struck all kinda emotions with this. R.I.P. to the ones we lost

T: You aiint never lie *pours out henny*

Why Don’t You Love Me

T: Naa…not my kinda jam. The whole electro pop thing does not work for me

S: This jam is dope and bland at the same time. Like I enjoyed the whole idea   but it had no ….”Woooooooooo” part.

T: Doesn’t stand out..skip for me

S: Like I was steady waiting for the climax…it never came #nopunintended

Fela (Interlude)

T: Mehn!! Tiwa just vexed here. She summoned all the vocal cord gods and murdered  the song

S: This is why I love (loved) her…

T: Let it go *modenine voice*. It’s only right when your ‘remixing’ a Fela song

S: Her raw talent comes alive on this… beautiful

Love Me, Love Me, Love Me

T: You already know..tunnne

S: *sigh*…brings back memories of our love. #MovingOn

Eminado Feat Don Jazzy
S: -_________________-

T: Seriously, I don’t know how I feel about this song. I know everybody thinks this is a tune..but..but..

S: Please…where are the people that think this is a tune?…look! This is the epitome of dead

T: Go on twitter and the all blogs

S: They should just sit their asses the fuck down. Don’t gas a jalopy around hurr and tell us its a ferrari. Fack outta hurr with that

T: All I know is this shit is trash material.

S: Exhibit F of IDJA fall off…

T: Type of song you hear on one radio station and you don’t mind listening to a nollywood ad on another station

S: Like Eminado gats means ‘Skip Me’ in Don Jazzy’s village…cos I do that EVERYTIME I hear him say it

Folarin

S: Spellz killed this beat! I always said it sounded like a Wande Coal song when I first heard it…makes sense now…his name is in the credit

T: Nothing special for me. The song is just there

S: You are too old for this…

T: You spelt DOPE wrong

S: LOL

Oh Yeah feat. Don Jazzy

S: Oh No…not again…*sigh*

T: See ehn…I never thought I’d say this in my lifetime but Don Jazzy spoilt this song

S: LOL

T: I won’t be surprised if this is what Dbanj heard and said ‘I’m taking my talents to G.O.O.D music’

S: hahahahahaha! Man, this really ain’t life right now

T: The song is poor

S: This song is at a traffic jam near you begging for hand outs

T: 😦

homeless

Shoutout feat Iceberg Slim and Sarkodie

T: If Burna Boy’s ‘Like to Party’ married Banky’s ‘Good Good Loving’, this right here is the pikin

S: This is a jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam

T: I ain’t mad at the jam tho. Iceberg and Sarkodie did their thing

S: Tiwa came through. Iceberg swagged it..and Sarkodie sha ‘Whatelse’d it

T: Yuup

S: We are at the first stage of the climax of this album

Written All over your face

T: This song is not about oral sex..relax…it’s about..wait, who am I kidding

S: Like…same gaddem thing I had on my mind…Oak and Tiwa should have done more songs on this album

T: Yup. International standard material

S: I am sure they even did more songs…but someone decided to put his own national assembly jams on this

T: *singing* Eminado Eminado

Get Low

T: Two sexual songs back to back

S: You see ehen…Tiwa deserves love for this

T: Tiwa for president

S: After she ‘sat’ on a nigga’s face…she gonna return the favour and ‘get low’

T: *singing in Iyanya’s voice* Omoge return the favour

S: You see you ‘I don’t do that’ girls…yall will be single at 50

T: I just wish I knew what you were talking about. This virgin life is not easy

Ife wa gbona ft Leo Wonder

S: Cool jam. Ain’t mad at it.

T: I fux with it, nice duet. Sounds like the soundtrack to a yoruba movie. Good stuff

S: Sosick flexing his versatility muscles.

Eji ma fia

S: Spellz Spellz Spellz

T: Well, they had to put one ‘bring out your handkerchief’ song

S: *brings hanky out*

T: Chi girl got a good voice. I love the skit at the end

S: This song sweeet me

Baby Mo feat. Flavour

T: I don’t know how I feel about this song, shouldn’t have been placed after Eji Ma Fia

S: They tried to keep it in the east..

T: How many hankys a nigga got to pull out

S: Hahahahahahah. No more hanky panky for me.

Stand As One feat General Pype

T: Another song sponsored by ‘nothing special’

S: 😦

T: 18 songs in? Mans dem for don travel to Ibadan from Lagos and back

aint nobo

S: I kinda don’t mind this song but yeah…it shouldn’t have made the album

T: Or it should have been placed higher

Thank You

S: IDJA!!! He is alive

T: Me I just dey thank God say we don reach the end.

S: Technically, he produced this with someone but those drums and percussions…all IDJA

Bonus tracks

Without My Heart ft Don Jazzy and Kele Kele

S: Whatever…hit songs..skip

T: Yup we don jam dem tire

Verdict

T: Tiwa shows what she’s capable of on a few tracks here and there, but I feel she didn’t push herself enough. Nothing wow’ed me on this album. We love you Tiwa but 21 songs is damn too much

S: Really some lovely songs on this..but a lot of duds, lukewarm tracks and my number one cardinal sin…its too long. I get that its supposed to be a blend of different styles but yeah..some ish just didn’t work. I just wish she did more songs with Oak and Raydar Ellis

T: Please don’t use your loveboy head to rate it high

S: nah man. I am not the ‘American Man’ 😦

T: LOL

3.2 wRaps

Peace, Love and heartbreaks

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9 Comments
  1. Bosun permalink

    “I’m taking my Talents to G.O.O.D music”. Lmao. I said D’banj took the studio when they split in that Mavin review and now Don Jazzy is using fruity loops up and down. We want them back together, they’re both shooting bricks with songs and production.

    As for this album, the review sums up whatever expectation I have for it. I’ll go listen, of course.

  2. Mafioso permalink

    She probably didn’t have an A&R to pick the tracks, so she wants to shove them down our throats by force

  3. Tip permalink

    LOL @ “Don Jazzy spoilt this song” … Just here downloading the tracks with good reviews, I just had a feeling that Eminado would be trash (thanks to the twitter gassin’)

    Hard to believe Tiwa dumped Sho tho’ 😦

  4. I love you two lunatics. I promised I’d drop a comment on all posts I loved this year. No more read, LOL, waka for me.

    Honestly this was a 2.9 for me. With her vocal prowress, I expected sensational.

    Not this…not this.

    BTW that eminado song is a walking disaster.

  5. “…No more hanky panky for me.” Lool. Really, Sho? Really?

    By the way, why is “Love me, Love me, Love me” on the album? Didn’t that song come out in 2002 or sumn?

  6. @YoItsMalcolm permalink

    3.2?!?!?!?!?! Ahahn na Grown mehn, which one of ye used his “Loveboy Head” to rate it 3.2?!?! Ye men should re-edit it o!! We all know a 3.2 album would make MaDHt Buzz round town…. So erm erm erm…. Peace!!!

  7. REDD permalink

    Actually thought I was the only one not feeling “eminado”, sounds sexual tho (emi na a do) (‘__’ ). Oh well, “Shout out” is a jaaaaam!!! Spellz at it again. Great review guyz!!

  8. Verb permalink

    Lmao, Alfred is something else, I thought I was the only one that read ‘Eminado’ that way. I will buy the album and hope fervently that she writes things all over my face with female ju… the end..

  9. This album was very average for me. I can’t stand the Eminado song, I think pple that like it are prob in a trance. True. The worxt. I love shout out a lot . Heard Ife wa gbono like 2yrs ago. I think its actually a leo wonder song. She prob beg him to make it hers…LOL.
    Oh can I just say Waje for president. Best Female artist (album) I’ve heard this year.

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